Philip K. Paulson

From Philosopedia

Paulson, Philip K. (Died 25 October 2006)

Paulson, whose ancestors were Swedish and Norwegian, had a maternal grandfather who was a Lutheran pastor and evangelist. Although he attended his grandfather's church in his home town of Clayton, Wisconsin and had perfect attendance at Sunday School, Bible School, and church, he lost his religion upon joining the 173rd Airborne Brigade in Vietnam, where he was stationed from 1966 until 1968.

He earned a bachelor's degree in Journalism, a Master's degree in Public Administration, and a Master's degree in Management of Information Systems.

"After my first month in Vietnam," he wrote in “I Was an Atheist in a Foxhole” (The Humanist, September-October 1989),

• I became an Atheist. My Vietnam war experiences dramatically changed my outlook on life.

• Throughout my youth, I was raised to believe in an illusory concept of God. Then, Vietnam changed all those misconceptions. I rebelled. No compassionate God, I thought, would permit all this killing to happen. After witnessing the dead and wounded during my first intense combat assault, I looked up with bewilderment and pain. I asked, "how could God do this to me?" I wondered, "How could a good, a loving God permit this to happen?" The irony of my self-inquiry led to the final retort, "You sadistic God! You're not worthy of my worship!" That was it. I made a clean break from the God concept instilled in me by my parents and church members during my youth. I concluded that the All-Loving concept reference to "God" was fatally flawed. The more I thought about the God concept, the more it seemed so ridiculous, lacked any reasonable explanation, and appeared to be utter nonsense.

• If I was going to stay alive, then it was ultimately up to me to not make any foolish mistakes or wrong moves. I was armed with a M-16 rifle, grenades, Claymore mine, and several clips of ammunition. Additionally, I placed a lot of trust in the hands of the US Army military leadership to coordinate the battle plans. The Officers carried the map for our objective points and exit plans, if the enemy force overwhelmed us. I presumed that my military superiors had studied the enemy troop movements and properly surveyed the battlefield before engaging the enemy. Most important, I relied on the cooperation and collaboration of my fellow army buddies to protect me from the enemy in the jungle and on the battlefield.

• Medical evacuation by helicopter "dust-off" was a comfort to many soldiers in the jungles. Some soldiers incurred critical wounds, and could likely expect to be returned home to the United States. Others were not so fortunate. Survivors could be assured of arriving at a hospital operating table and being treated with professional care, usually in about thirty minutes. However, when ambushed and outnumbered by an enemy force with superior firepower, the fear of dying could strike one's intellect and emotions to the point of crippling panic. Delayed stress syndrome followed many people home in terms of bad dreams and restless nights.

• One horrifying experience happened to me near a hamlet northwest of Saigon. I, along with five other men, was assigned to night duty at an outpost about a half-mile from company perimeters. We carried our M-16 rifles, grenades, Claymore mines, and a two-way radio. That night we were surprised by an Assault group of Viet Cong guerrilla fighters. Three dead young American soldiers were silhouetted by the moon's reflections inside our outpost bunker. The radioman sputtered, "Oh, Lord! Lord! Help us!"

• My response to him was to stop praying. I exclaimed, "To hell with God! You help us! You radio back for mortar and artillery fire support!" Fortunately, he regained his composure and radioed the forward observers for fire support to be directed at our map coordinates. Common sense dictated that staying alive was more important than wasting precious time praying. Consequently, that young soldier saved our lives.

• The next morning, I was thrilled to see the men from my company. Fortunately, I didn't sustain any personal injuries from the night assault. However, the assaults of the next morning struck me emotionally when a surviving soldier said to me, "See, Paulson, God answers prayers." I replied, "I'm damn glad that someone was an Atheist in a foxhole!" He laughed because he thought I was joking, and I had to allow him to believe that I was -- I had to keep my Atheism to myself.

• I knew that proclaiming to be an Atheist while on duty in South Vietnam could likely prejudiced my superior officers in granting promotions and also possibly causing harmful reprisals. An Atheist was perceived as tantamount to being a Communist. Our Army chaplain was a fundamentalist Christian who saw the devil in virtually everything he didn't believe in. Army chaplains wielded a lot of power; their opinions could make the difference between whether or not you got promoted and received a pay raise. So, I was quiet and self-constrained about my nonbelief in God.

• There were times when I suffered through horrifying moments, expecting to be killed. I was convinced that no cosmic rescuer would save me. Besides, I believed life after death was merely wishful thinking. Also, there were imaginary fearful times when I expected to suffer a painful, agonizing death. My frustration and anger at being caught in a dilemma of life-and-death situations simply infuriated me. Hearing the sound of bullets whistling through the air and popping near my ears was damned scary. Fortunately, I was never physically wounded.

In 1973 Paulson joined the American Humanist Association (AHA), saying,

• I needed to belong to a group of nontheists who shared my visions of hope and who inculcated rational methods of reasoning, social sympathy, and cooperative skills. He became head of the Humanist Association of San Diego.

An activist, he worked to help those with HIV and AIDS. But he is best known for a 1989 lawsuit he filed to have the Mount Soledad Easter Cross removed from San Diego public property.

Paulson received an award from the San Diego Chapter of Americans United for Separation of Church and State in recognition of his efforts to defend church-state separation. He was quoted as saying,

• The real message is equal treatment under the law, and religious neutrality. That’s the purpose of why I did it. It has nothing to do with me being an atheist or whether I was a Bible-thumping fundamentalist Baptist preacher.

In July of 2006, Paulson was diagnosed with terminal cancer and at the age of 59 died 25 October 2006. A week prior, oral arguments were heard in the 4th District Court of Appeals on Paulson's suit that challenged the transfer of the cross to he federal government, a transfer that was signed by President George W. Bush on August 14th. On September 22nd he challenged the constitutionality of the Christian symbol on public property, a suit that combined with the American Civil Liberties Union's that was led by the Jewish War Veterans. Prior to is death, he added Steve Trunk as a co-plaintiff to insure that the litigation would continue.

(Paulson wrote an article about his experiences with the 173rd Airborne Brigade in Vietnam from 1966 until 1968.

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